Disguise

by jesssouthwood

Effecting a disappearance of sorts
I woolly up, and wash my hair with soap
Swaddled in plaid and bad posture
I sneak anonymously through my routine
Unviewed by people who would usually notice me

I order coffee from a man who’s startled by my voice
I guess it doesn’t match my knitted hat and pale face
He double takes, I duck his gaze, he looks away
And I exhale gratefully
Invisible again, I make a note to speak more quietly.

I spend hours in the bath
Then put on dirty clothes to leave the house
I’m clean enough, you see
Clean like I’ve never been
Unfettered by the desire to be seen.

These are my days
I have never owned them more completely
Without demand or deadline, I dissolve into
My books, my words, my tea
Alone, unsought, I am just mine, all mine, just me