Little Losses

I kissed you
I kissed you on the darkened steps of the Cathedral
You looked like Jesus with your long hair
So we kissed in the doorway of the church like we were on your daddy’s front porch
I licked your teeth
You touched my breast
On top of my shirt
You were shy in your passion.

I see the sadness of the world in you, my love
Your head hangs, your shirt collar’s made of lead
Your hair smells of closed windows and neglect
Your fingers feel the table cloth for braille requiems
Your feet are oddly still as if their restless tapping would be too joyful a noise
You breathe quietly as if the air should not be yours if it can’t be hers.

You touch my hand
Your touch is so familiar now
Your kiss is so familiar
You’ve seen the breast you touched so shyly a thousand times
A million times
My belly is stretched silver now, my love
Choose me and get what you deserve
You with your fool’s head, and your silver-bellied wife.

Some there be that shadows kiss,
Such have but a shadow’s bliss:
There be fools alive, iwis,
Silver’d o’er; and so was this.
Take what wife you will to bed,
I will ever be your head.

Are we fools or shadows?
At least a fool is wise and colourful
Our love is so pale now
Your face is pale
Your hand is pale
Your chest is pale in the dark of our bed
My cheeks still blush at pale compliments
My blood still runs hot in the cool of the night
In the pale moonlight.
I’m scared, my love
I’m scared

(Italics from The Merchant of Venice II.iv)